the subtle art of flirting

AUTHOR: Maureen Shaw

If animals perform a certain dance or give off some characteristics to entice their mate, humans also have a similar ritual and it’s called flirting. Flirting is basically a form of human interaction that expresses one’s romantic or sexual interest towards another person, particularly the opposite sex. Flirting can be one-sided or reciprocated and it commonly consists an ordinary conversation, body language, or abrupt physical contact.

There are instances when flirting is done solely for entertainment purposes. During courtship or even in long-term relationships, flirting is a way of expressing interest and assessing the other person’s attraction. On the other hand, flirting can be a simple prelude to casual sex with no intention of continuing into a deeper relationship. This type of flirting is often rebuked or condemned by others because it can be misinterpreted as gravely careless or it may be regarded as an act of cheating especially if the other person is already involved in a romantic relationship with someone else.

Those who practice the art of flirting may speak and act in a manner that intimates more familiarity than what is usually suitable to a relationship or to the amount of time two people have actually known each other. As a general rule, you can say or do anything as long as you do not violate any significant social norm. One creative way of pulling off clever flirting is to convey a sense of irony and playfulness. You can follow other people who use double entendres, with one meaning more formally proper and another strongly suggestive.

The beauty of flirting is that it can be accomplished through a lot of methods including stylized gestures, verbal communication, body language, postures, and physiologic signs. Western culture had invented quite a number of ways for flirting, employing every part of your body starting from the face to the foot. Eye contact is probably the most basic form of flirting and it can be varied depending on your style like batting your eyelashes or winking. Ladies of olden days used to turn to Protean signals such as touching their hair to show interest in a man and that gesture is still evident on modern women today.

Teasing and playful banter are other effective ways of flirting. Casual touches like a woman touching a man’s arm during conversation is another nifty act of flirting. You can also go the conservative way such as sending love letters, poems or small tokens showing your affection. Some spontaneous simple flirting techniques are suggestive smile, flattery, coyness, affected shyness or exaggerated modesty,artful playfulness, and other casual put-ons. There is also a bold and daring style of flirting called “footsie” or “feet under the table” practice. Online chat as well as other one-on-one and direct messaging services are common contemporary flirting tactics practiced by many people at present.

While most subconscious signs of flirting are common across different cultures, flirting etiquettes vary considerably from one culture to another which often led to misinterpretations. There are distinctions on how closely people should stand, how long to hold eye contact, and so on and forth. The important thing to remember is when you want to succeed in flirting, do it in a subtle and polished way.